Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
