I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
