i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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