I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
