If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
