Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
