Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
