he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
