My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Randomize
