Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
