i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
