I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
