If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
