I just cut my nipple shaving
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
