I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
