I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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