Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
