Only a mothe r could love this liver
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
