im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
