So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
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