remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love having hate sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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