I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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