so explain again why im purple
no
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
