dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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