Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
