I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
