my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I came so hard my ears popped.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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