The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
