at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
