I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
