super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
