fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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