God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
