P.S. I can't hear my feet
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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