Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i already hear my dad disowning me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
