Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
