the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
