I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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