sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
