I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
