I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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