I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
