My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
