I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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