yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I cannot find my penis.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
