im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
NoShamevember. You game?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
