Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
