There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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