While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I need moral support for this bender
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
