i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
