you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
