One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
