if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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