): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
NoShamevember. You game?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
