that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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