You just made me feel so damn special
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
