If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
FUCK WHALES
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
