I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
