Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
