Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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