What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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