I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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