The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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