do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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